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Not Your Average Girl

Controversy

via Daily Prompt: Controversy

Jumbles the thoughts in my head.

Causes my heart to stir.

Forces my soul to seek.

Hmm sometimes makes me weak,

Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually.

Makes me wonder what’s the reason for all of it.

Is it because it is twenty-seventeen (2017)?

This year that started on a lean,

Leaning on hope, on faith, on love.

Maybe if there was more hope, faith, and love…

Maybe, just maybe there would be less of it.

“It” being, Controversy.

“It” being, disadvantages.

“It” being, negativity.

“It” being, misunderstandings.

“It” being, learned ignorance.

NotYourAverageGirl

-Rhodesia

No Interview

Okay today I  finally had an interview with this accessory store. I had been calling for the last week trying to get an interview, and they finally called me last night. While I was getting ready today I realized I might not get there on time, so I called to let them know I would be late. After I got off the phone explaining I will be late, the hiring manager called to tell me if I didn’t get there for three my interview will be cancelled. I stilled continued to get ready and was thinking maybe they will still interview me if I’m not too late. I get there around 3:15, which was the time I told them I would probably get there by. So I inform one of the workers that I am there for an interview. She tells the hiring manager that I am there, and I sit down. The same lady comes up to me a few minutes later telling me that the hiring manager said she told me that my interview would be cancelled if I didn’t get there for three. I kind of didn’t like how the hiring manager sent that same lady to tell me that, because I kind of felt like the hiring manager should  have come to speak with me. And the way the lady relied the information made it seem like I was the only interview. So I then asked if there were any other interviews today, and she told me the other interviewee cancelled. After that I left and waited for my boyfriend to come pick me up. Honestly I was really sad because I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that there were no other interviews, and yet they couldn’t just interview me. When the hiring manager had called me back she should have just said interviews were cancelled. I was thinking I had to be there for three because there was another interview right after mine, but now I know there wasn’t. So there was no reason for them to not do my interview today. And now I am supposed to wait another two weeks for them to call for interviews.

Thanks for reading

NotYourAverageGirl

-Rhodesia

Procrastination is Fear

I came to visit my godmother, and to simply get away. I quit my job, and decided I needed to kind of just clear my mind. Now I’ve been here for about a week. I haven’t done anything productive. I haven’t recorded anything suitable to edit. Started several post to put on here and just stopped.

I did do one thing though, I deleted my Instagram. It was needed. Making another one isn’t hard. When I think it’s beneficial for me to have an Instagram, I will. But as for now it doesn’t make sense. Deleting it has been on my mind for a while. I procrastinated on that, but I finally did it.

Procrastination is fear. It’s constantly me blocking myself. Being fearful of life and not finishing, or doing things that I start because I don’t believe it will be great, or I don’t believe that other people will like. My fear comes in the form of procrastination. And I have to continue to push through it.

So my plan for this fear is to do something everyday that I have been procrastinating on. The other day it was deleting my Instagram, today it’s writing this post. Maybe later I will draw, or finally record something for my Youtube channel. Can you believe that I’ve been procrastinating about drawing? Anything that I am creating, I always have slight doubts. I don’t think having doubts are bad, but for me it’s crippling to my creativity. Those doubts turn into procrastination, and that’s nothing but fear of not doing well enough. And honestly I need to just do, and if I don’t like it or succeed, I need to just redo.

I appreciate you for reading.

 

NotYourAverageGirl

-Rhodesia

 

Growth

​Even though Christmas has passed, I still have that hopeful and positive feeling going on. 

Last year was a year of growth for me. I had a lot of breakdowns, they forced me to stop and take a break… literally from school. I’ve been focusing on myself, and trying to figure out what is wrong and what needs to be done. I’ve been processing a lot and I will keep processing a lot. On this break I’ve been trying to figure out how to be more productive, positive, and happy in life for myself. And it hasn’t been a full year yet since I started my break, but I’ve definitely matured and learned a good bit. I still want to learn more about myself and keep growing. It’s what’s needed for me to keep bettering myself, to continue to keep grooming myself for my expected great future self.
If you’ve read all of this, thank you.
NotYourAverageGirl

– Rhodesia

Scared of Judgement

Working in a Factory at 19 | New Year & I’m Quitting | VLOG | NotYourAverageGirl

Decisions & Choices |Vlog| NotYourAverageGirl

Christmas Night, Fulton Street

After I had a great time with family, I decided I wanted to go on Fulton Street to see the Christmas lights and decorations. 

A Decent Christmas & A Hopeful New Year

For the last few years Christmas just hasn’t felt much like Christmas to me. But this Christmas that just happened wasn’t half bad. I actually had a pretty decent day. There were lots of laughs and I got a sugar high. When I eat a lot of sugar, I laugh a lot.

Maybe this year was better because for the first time I was able to buy my loved ones gifts with my own money. I wanted to buy gifts. I was able to give and it felt good. Since Christmas is supposedly about giving, right ?

I shared a day with family like I do every year, but this year it felt better. Last year I was really sad around this time, with just a small spark. That spark existed because I met someone maybe a week before Christmas, and for some reason that person gave me a little bit of happiness and hope.

Throughout the year of 2016 that person has helped me out immensely. I greatly appreciate that person. If they hadn’t came into my life, I wouldn’t have had the courage to make the decision to not go back to college. I would not have started my YouTube channel when I did, or kept making post to this blog.

I now have the courage, strength, and positive energy to do and start the ideas that I have. Soon I will be quiting my job, taking a break, and starting fresh. Within the renewal that I plan to have, I want to become more organized. Becoming more organized will help me to make more YouTube videos, keep up with this blog more, and start promoting myself and networking with other YouTubers and bloggers. Also, I plan to start working on my own business. I expect to be successful with my happiness in life. I plan to stay positive, and I plan to continue to love.

I appreciate you for reading my thoughts.

I hope you are having a happy and blessed holiday.

-NotYourAverageGirl

Rhodesia

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