I know it’s not the best but I will do better next time.
I know the outfit is super duper simple, but I was playing around one day and thought”why not”. I have been told several times I should do OOTD (outfit of the day) videos, since my style tends to be a little “not average” at times. And I make some of my jewelry and I tend to cut up clothing all of the time. My first OOTD video may be super amateur but I plan to get better at them, as well as my outfit photos. So, I just hope someone finds inspo from my style.
Thanks for reading.
I hope you are having a great day.
Jumbles the thoughts in my head.
Causes my heart to stir.
Forces my soul to seek.
Hmm sometimes makes me weak,
Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually.
Makes me wonder what’s the reason for all of it.
Is it because it is twenty-seventeen (2017)?
This year that started on a lean,
Leaning on hope, on faith, on love.
Maybe if there was more hope, faith, and love…
Maybe, just maybe there would be less of it.
“It” being, Controversy.
“It” being, disadvantages.
“It” being, negativity.
“It” being, misunderstandings.
“It” being, learned ignorance.
Okay today I finally had an interview with this accessory store. I had been calling for the last week trying to get an interview, and they finally called me last night. While I was getting ready today I realized I might not get there on time, so I called to let them know I would be late. After I got off the phone explaining I will be late, the hiring manager called to tell me if I didn’t get there for three my interview will be cancelled. I stilled continued to get ready and was thinking maybe they will still interview me if I’m not too late. I get there around 3:15, which was the time I told them I would probably get there by. So I inform one of the workers that I am there for an interview. She tells the hiring manager that I am there, and I sit down. The same lady comes up to me a few minutes later telling me that the hiring manager said she told me that my interview would be cancelled if I didn’t get there for three. I kind of didn’t like how the hiring manager sent that same lady to tell me that, because I kind of felt like the hiring manager should have come to speak with me. And the way the lady relied the information made it seem like I was the only interview. So I then asked if there were any other interviews today, and she told me the other interviewee cancelled. After that I left and waited for my boyfriend to come pick me up. Honestly I was really sad because I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that there were no other interviews, and yet they couldn’t just interview me. When the hiring manager had called me back she should have just said interviews were cancelled. I was thinking I had to be there for three because there was another interview right after mine, but now I know there wasn’t. So there was no reason for them to not do my interview today. And now I am supposed to wait another two weeks for them to call for interviews.
Thanks for reading
I came to visit my godmother, and to simply get away. I quit my job, and decided I needed to kind of just clear my mind. Now I’ve been here for about a week. I haven’t done anything productive. I haven’t recorded anything suitable to edit. Started several post to put on here and just stopped.
I did do one thing though, I deleted my Instagram. It was needed. Making another one isn’t hard. When I think it’s beneficial for me to have an Instagram, I will. But as for now it doesn’t make sense. Deleting it has been on my mind for a while. I procrastinated on that, but I finally did it.
Procrastination is fear. It’s constantly me blocking myself. Being fearful of life and not finishing, or doing things that I start because I don’t believe it will be great, or I don’t believe that other people will like. My fear comes in the form of procrastination. And I have to continue to push through it.
So my plan for this fear is to do something everyday that I have been procrastinating on. The other day it was deleting my Instagram, today it’s writing this post. Maybe later I will draw, or finally record something for my Youtube channel. Can you believe that I’ve been procrastinating about drawing? Anything that I am creating, I always have slight doubts. I don’t think having doubts are bad, but for me it’s crippling to my creativity. Those doubts turn into procrastination, and that’s nothing but fear of not doing well enough. And honestly I need to just do, and if I don’t like it or succeed, I need to just redo.
I appreciate you for reading.
Even though Christmas has passed, I still have that hopeful and positive feeling going on.
Last year was a year of growth for me. I had a lot of breakdowns, they forced me to stop and take a break… literally from school. I’ve been focusing on myself, and trying to figure out what is wrong and what needs to be done. I’ve been processing a lot and I will keep processing a lot. On this break I’ve been trying to figure out how to be more productive, positive, and happy in life for myself. And it hasn’t been a full year yet since I started my break, but I’ve definitely matured and learned a good bit. I still want to learn more about myself and keep growing. It’s what’s needed for me to keep bettering myself, to continue to keep grooming myself for my expected great future self.
If you’ve read all of this, thank you.